I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
