the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
the liver wants what the liver wants
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
