Christians are straight up FREAKS
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
NoShamevember. You game?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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