it hurts more in the daytime
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
