Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
