We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
