my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
