I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
