The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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