two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
