No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
