remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Houston, we have a squirter
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize