no, he came in my armpit
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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