love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
