just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
