You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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