just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
