he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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