The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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