This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
