Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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