is your mom at the bar?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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