party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
