I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize