whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize