Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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