Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
