I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
