Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
