Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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