Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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