i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
