I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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