I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
