I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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