just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We are all done wearing pants today
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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