whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
