Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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