That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
