yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
