i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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