return my video game
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
