The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
