Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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