I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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