We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
