I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
