Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
