That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
