To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
