You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
