Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We talked him into tasing himself.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize