I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
