look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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