i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
