He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
