they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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