I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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