i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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