Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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