I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
