all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
