Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
