Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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